Lamgenpin is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, irritating fairy.

Lamgenpin created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgenpin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lamgenpin, he will think nothing of it.

Lamgenpin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Lamgenpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Lamgenpin loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.