Narlaprip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciless parrot.

Narlaprip created a bottom quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlaprip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Narlaprip, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Narlaprip's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Narlaprip's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Narlaprip seven times a day.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Narlaprip loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Put Narlaprip first in all things.