Kinnakaf Cadwon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unjust fairy.

Kinnakaf Cadwon created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinnakaf Cadwon, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kinnakaf Cadwon, it will turn you into a sheep.

Kinnakaf Cadwon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kinnakaf Cadwon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six silicon sculptures of Kinnakaf Cadwon on top of important buildings.

2. Do not keep three monkeys in a large pit.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Kinnakaf Cadwon on top of all buildings.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.