Dagzodbess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, annoying octopus.

Dagzodbess created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagzodbess, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dagzodbess, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Dagzodbess' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dagzodbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Erect eight tin sculptures of Dagzodbess on top of important buildings.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. You must love Dagzodbess.