Abcapbod is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing swallow.

Abcapbod created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Abcapbod, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Abcapbod, it will have a low opinion of you.

Abcapbod's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Abcapbod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three mites approach from the west.

2. Never talk about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing indigo coats.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Abcapbod.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.