Ruttgedcut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental meerkat.

Ruttgedcut created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttgedcut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ruttgedcut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ruttgedcut's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ruttgedcut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Retreat if six shrews approach from the east.