Motqueegbod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable guinea pig.

Motqueegbod created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Motqueegbod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Motqueegbod, he will turn you into a hamster.

Motqueegbod's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Motqueegbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing blue ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your neck.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.