Farnkikveenflow is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart mongoose.

Farnkikveenflow created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnkikveenflow, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Farnkikveenflow, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Farnkikveenflow's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Farnkikveenflow's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three sharks approach from the east.

2. Never leap in the presence of turtles.

3. Never hurt mites.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.