Pangcemtin is a god.

He takes the form of a large, cheerful hydra.

Pangcemtin created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangcemtin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pangcemtin, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pangcemtin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Pangcemtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near ants while wearing orange rings and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangcemtin.

5. Do not commit murder.