Vadhaklen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic centaur.

Vadhaklen created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadhaklen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vadhaklen, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vadhaklen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Vadhaklen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always obey Vadhaklen's priests.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing violet boots and balancing seven platinum spheres on your legs.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.