Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonest jellyfish.

Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fadbonknak Vinvegtag Hakvil.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.