Fidransid Vonkkonquill is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring swan.

Fidransid Vonkkonquill created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidransid Vonkkonquill, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fidransid Vonkkonquill, he will manifest in front of you.

Fidransid Vonkkonquill's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Fidransid Vonkkonquill's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Never paint your legs purple.

5. Fidransid Vonkkonquill loves snails, so they must be honoured.