Mabnuttgunpog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, intelligent parrot.

Mabnuttgunpog created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Mabnuttgunpog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mabnuttgunpog, he will destroy your home planet.

Mabnuttgunpog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Mabnuttgunpog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing purple corsets and balancing six nickel spheres on your hands.

4. Never talk about dark energy near voles while wearing brown trousers.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.