Bonyarbog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, slow hippopotamus.

Bonyarbog created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonyarbog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bonyarbog, he will turn you into a dog.

Bonyarbog's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bonyarbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never jump in holy places.