Bestarfmig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic toad.

Bestarfmig created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bestarfmig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestarfmig, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bestarfmig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bestarfmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bestarfmig.

3. You must pray to Bestarfmig eight times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.