Pig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish troll.

Pig created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Pig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pig, it will turn you into a snail.

Pig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pig.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Never think about dark matter near hamsters while wearing magenta trousers and balancing six nickel spheres on your head.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.