Butjadarpril is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast clam.

Butjadarpril created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Butjadarpril, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Butjadarpril, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Butjadarpril's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Butjadarpril's Holy Commandments

1. Butjadarpril loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Butjadarpril in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.