Tapbafhud Zakfigfid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, witty lion.

Tapbafhud Zakfigfid created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapbafhud Zakfigfid, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tapbafhud Zakfigfid, it will strike you with lightening.

Tapbafhud Zakfigfid's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tapbafhud Zakfigfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tapbafhud Zakfigfid on top of all buildings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tapbafhud Zakfigfid.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.