Sawnarquart is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omniscient giraffe.

Sawnarquart created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawnarquart, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sawnarquart, he will turn you into a duck.

Sawnarquart's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sawnarquart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about hamsters.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about black holes.