Hubyakbafjan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind troll.

Hubyakbafjan created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubyakbafjan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hubyakbafjan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hubyakbafjan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hubyakbafjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed nuts to nematodes while wearing violet coats.

4. Erect nine tin sculptures of Hubyakbafjan on top of important buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick frogs.