Himstiktap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest alligator.

Himstiktap created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Himstiktap, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Himstiktap, she will turn you into a goat.

Himstiktap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Himstiktap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing orange skirts.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away if nine birds approach from the north.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.