Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthinking pigeon.

Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim created the Virgo Supercluster nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away from orange cats, for they are unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. You must love Gonmonbin Xuckmaplim.