Tamkimarnarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy zebra.

Tamkimarnarp created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamkimarnarp, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tamkimarnarp, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Tamkimarnarp's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tamkimarnarp's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tamkimarnarp.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tamkimarnarp loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.