Zanlogquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, conceited meerkat.

Zanlogquaf created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Zanlogquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanlogquaf, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zanlogquaf's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Zanlogquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.