Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, charitable hedgehog.

Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Cutgunlidruttsigwatpas on top of important buildings.

3. Never hop in the presence of tapirs.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.