Jatflanont Tadbotdid is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking spider.

Jatflanont Tadbotdid created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatflanont Tadbotdid, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jatflanont Tadbotdid, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jatflanont Tadbotdid's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Jatflanont Tadbotdid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Jatflanont Tadbotdid in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never feed peanuts to otters while wearing dresses.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.