Rutcembum is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, astonishing badger.

Rutcembum created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutcembum, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutcembum, she will destroy your home planet.

Rutcembum's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Rutcembum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Rutcembum's name in vain.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Always wear red.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never wear orange boots.