Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable armadillo.

Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Stikzanwodgebkikdimyartved Queegfotzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of hamsters.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Always help bats.

5. Never talk about nebulae.