Legjipran is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering bee.

Legjipran created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Legjipran, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Legjipran, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Legjipran's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Legjipran's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Always look after injured birds.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.