Matbemdib is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful aardvark.

Matbemdib created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Matbemdib, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Matbemdib, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Matbemdib's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Matbemdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near swans while wearing orange coats and balancing four copper spheres on your neck.

5. Hide if three monkeys approach from the south.