Vontarpgatbafmobwon is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, prudent hamster.

Vontarpgatbafmobwon created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vontarpgatbafmobwon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vontarpgatbafmobwon, he will remove you from existence.

Vontarpgatbafmobwon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Vontarpgatbafmobwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not take Vontarpgatbafmobwon's name in vain.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never bounce in the presence of frogs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near turtles while wearing red coats and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.