Nulmipnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, grumpy monkey.

Nulmipnarl created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulmipnarl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nulmipnarl, he will turn you into a dog.

Nulmipnarl's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nulmipnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Nulmipnarl in the centre of the settlement.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never look in ponds.