Vilhivtarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, humane goblin.

Vilhivtarp created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilhivtarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vilhivtarp, it will remove you from existence.

Vilhivtarp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vilhivtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the west.

5. Always take life seriously.