Gatdubpomsab is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, confident lobster.

Gatdubpomsab created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gatdubpomsab, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gatdubpomsab, it will refuse to believe in you.

Gatdubpomsab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gatdubpomsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must love Gatdubpomsab.

5. Retreat if five mice approach from the west.