Cubmetgepjin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy dove.

Cubmetgepjin created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubmetgepjin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cubmetgepjin, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cubmetgepjin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Cubmetgepjin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry horses.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cubmetgepjin.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.