Dontunkimcudlam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless fox.

Dontunkimcudlam created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dontunkimcudlam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dontunkimcudlam, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dontunkimcudlam's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dontunkimcudlam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never feed lentils to ducks while wearing shorts.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing gray scarves.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not take Dontunkimcudlam's name in vain.