Zogjapbopcet is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain squid.

Zogjapbopcet created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogjapbopcet, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zogjapbopcet, he will cry a lot.

Zogjapbopcet's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zogjapbopcet's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not keep three pigs in a large pit.