Hasmumpak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fast pigeon.

Hasmumpak created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hasmumpak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hasmumpak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hasmumpak's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Hasmumpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Never look in ponds.