Didtannan Rutlinkem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical naga.

Didtannan Rutlinkem created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Didtannan Rutlinkem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Didtannan Rutlinkem, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Didtannan Rutlinkem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Didtannan Rutlinkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Didtannan Rutlinkem's name in vain.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never feed peanuts to bats while wearing red trousers.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.