Tipvabdib is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, witless troll.

Tipvabdib created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tipvabdib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tipvabdib, it will turn you into a worm.

Tipvabdib's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tipvabdib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Tipvabdib first in all things.

4. You must love Tipvabdib.

5. Always take life seriously.