Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced squirrel.

Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing cyan boots and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tanflatzedkem Siscadarp on top of all buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.