Ominyatceb is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish walrus.

Ominyatceb created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ominyatceb, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ominyatceb, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ominyatceb's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ominyatceb's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Ominyatceb.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must love Ominyatceb.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never write about cell theory.