Lopsadced is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid hyena.

Lopsadced created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopsadced, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lopsadced, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lopsadced's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Lopsadced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must pray to Lopsadced nine times a day.