Zannegjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless shark.

Zannegjarn created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zannegjarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zannegjarn, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zannegjarn's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Zannegjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must love Zannegjarn.