Lam Dumnullnel is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lam Dumnullnel created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lam Dumnullnel, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lam Dumnullnel, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lam Dumnullnel's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lam Dumnullnel's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.