Jinstragstipyik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive lion.

Jinstragstipyik created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jinstragstipyik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jinstragstipyik, it will destroy your home planet.

Jinstragstipyik's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Jinstragstipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Never hop in the presence of voles.

4. Put Jinstragstipyik first in all things.

5. Do not cook food in pots.