Nigyarpven is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, astonishing swan.

Nigyarpven created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nigyarpven, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nigyarpven, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nigyarpven's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nigyarpven's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue coats.

2. Always help voles.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Hide from turquoise horses for they are unholy.

5. Do not shave your chest.