Vigmadtom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish yak.

Vigmadtom created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigmadtom, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vigmadtom, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vigmadtom's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vigmadtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near snails while wearing pink trousers and balancing eight carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away from cyan birds, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never wear turquoise tights.