Liphonyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic beaver.

Liphonyarl created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Liphonyarl, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Liphonyarl, he will torture you forever.

Liphonyarl's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Liphonyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Always obey Liphonyarl's priests.