Dudwadpark is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless manatee.

Dudwadpark created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudwadpark, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudwadpark, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dudwadpark's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Dudwadpark's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the west.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.